gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
