your parents love me but you hate me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
