every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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