STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
