Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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