Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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