My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
