No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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