great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
not ubering you a puppy
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
