Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize