does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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