What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
