it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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