She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
