Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
