Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
