i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm like, not good at living.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
