Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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