It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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