so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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