if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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