Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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