Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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