Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
