I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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