I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I got inside last night via doggy door
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
