shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
