i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
