I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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