Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
