nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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