I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
