Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
