Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
