people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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