My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
