so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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