my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
