I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do vagina's smell?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
