He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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