I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
