I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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