I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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