Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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