I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
