Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I faked an abortion last night.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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