So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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