So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize