Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
