I want to stick my p in your. b.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
