just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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