I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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