My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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