Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
