im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize