try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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