Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
