i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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