Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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