Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
