omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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