My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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