i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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