i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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