Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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